better makings

sometimes your road gets closed off.

roads go a lot of places. there are so many roads, and so many ways to block them. snow drifts for instance. or basketball players. or construction workers slaping a building right in the middle of you field. some days there are alternate routes. other days there are alternate objectives. but then there is always the option of plowing straight through. you might lose your life for it. or at least your license. Clancy thought I should never have one anyway. Clancy is usually sedated though. clearly clance missed out. sometimes you've just got to make better makings of the blizzards than the snows estimations of your capablities. melt that ice and make your way. and if you can't melt, build a fort out of it.

 ...fort anyone?

Bite the Apple

Hope is not for easy times. The scriptures say that hope comes from faith, and becomes an anchor for our souls. Hope is for storms. Hope is for nights with no stars, and prayers with no answers. Hope is not vain. It comes of faith. Faith that if you act now, your prayers will be answered. 

you don't know enough to know what to ask.

  Inbetween molecules of oxegyn and carbon dioxide.

Only in dreams we see what it means.

And so it seems, only in dreams

I don't like being in charge. I'd almost prefer the leaderless mob. Won't you take lead? I'd really feel much better. Maybe the sinking in my stomach would go away. Maybe we would both think of me less as a jerk, and more as the girl over there, you know, with the red shoes.

My red shoes have almost no sole. But they sure do have soul. Feel the ground underneath your feet, every dip, crack and pebble. yo.

Sweet hat? I know. Life is all so much better. Chilling and whatnot. Work hard, play hard, and sleep whenever that ten minute window presents itself. Bring on the music, let in fill all those hurt spots and see if you don't come out a little brighter. Pray with all the heart you've got left. Stop worrying about others or self. Do good. Be good. Kindess may come back and explode all over you in a terrible way. But why worry about it. Kindness is too lovely to give up. So is music. The flow, the carrying of your heart. Melody merged with memory.

I like seeing you smile.

I know a woman with three kids. I love her. I am proud of her. I know a girl who gives up what she wants every time, for what God wants. Selfless. I know a boy who changed so fundamentally, because he believed God would help him change. There is no one I love more. I know a hill with my name on it. I went there for the sunsets. I know a hill far away from the other, covered in yellow flowers. I went there for the sunrises. There is a hill in my back yard, where the stars have shined brighter than all other nights in all other places for me. My grandmothers grew roses and raspberries. It takes a woman of faith to plant a seed. Laughter is the music that joy makes. Those women planted the seeds of joy, and laughter and rose smell wafted through our lives.

Sometime, we'll all come back together.

There, you have it now.

Take care not to mistake me for what I look like.

eye witness

the time is now 1:01. a minute ago it was 2:00.  lovely. and you may ask yourself, what is this girl doing up? the question is invalid. you would find you and that self much more well type informed if you asked a better question, such as, "how much radiation has this girl taken in the past two days?", " do microwaves really cause that much damage?" or "who let this kid out of her play pen?!?", cause I'm out. sometimes you just can't convice people that playing with you could be fun. so you can sit and stare at them while they don't play with you, or you can venture off to the open world despite the lack of friendly types. sure, I know, it's a lot less fun than playing with your friend, but it's a lot more fun that staring at your friend while they do their best to ignore you. besides, staring is creepy. and if you're going to be creepy, you might as well add lonely to the mix, it's a matchy sort of type. oh and by the way, there just always seems to be a reason to open the microwave, so you'd better unplug it before your brain goes numb.

hooking up the bungee cord

Too few or too many? What a dilemma. The worst is over. I took that worst and I smashed it. Right into that tree over yonder. Then I integrated it and smashed it some more. When it comes back around I'll either frame it or burn it. What else would you do with an old worst indeed? 

would you give a face like that a ticket? 

no. 

but you should have.

oh deceiving.

faith

It's very late. Or if you want to see the glass half full, rather early. Things are jumping around from too few to too many. But it's beautiful. The foo fighters are keeping me company while others nap. We never did get the corn to pop. But it turns out I'm pretty good with a telescope.

I'm so tired of days that feel like the night

actually it's quite the reverse for me. I love my night time.

"'It's me and the moon', she says."  It's been in my head all day. Well I've got no trouble with that. There are these singular souls that stick around for years and years to see you through all the stages. And one day they tell you about yourself. It's surprising to find that someone actually knows you. Knows the parts of you that are the best, and hardest to know. It's not that I want to be hard to get to know, it's just that I don't trust you. And I'm a little too easy to hurt. It's gotten over before you know it, so you never know it. And what you don't know, can't hurt you. But it might hurt me. I'm always a little nervous when I eat applesauce. You never know what you're going to get. But chances are it won't be chocolate. What a pity.