It's HERE!!!

pure white joy

What Is To Be Done?

You don't really want to know. It's not worth talking about. Ahh, but that's not true. It means so much that we could, and should spend 100 years figuring it out. But we won't, we ignore the most important things. Refuse to see and refuse to address. I'm so grateful for those who don't. We'll work it out, find the meaning and the way. Even though we have to do it long distance over 200 years of space. I know where to look, that's the most important part. And when you really need some hope, remember that Glenn is in the world, so it must be a good place.

list

laminated PMG. silly putty. quality watch. packing tape. really good luggage. sewing kit. first aid kit. medical dictionary. items with glow in the dark properties. post-it notes. crayons. goat.

What would YOU get a missionary in a undisclosed location for Christmas?

School Work

An Outline

Main Idea: The sections “The Grand Inquisitor” and “Notes of the Life in God of the Elder Zosima” combined with “Conversations and Exhortations of Father Zosima” were both refered to as the culminating point of the Brother’s Karmazov. Why?

Answers:

I.                   Rebellion VS. Faith: the conflict of the novel.

A.    Characters and symbols.

B.     It’s okay to ask the questions.

II.                Why the Grand Inquisitor? What was its purpose?

A.     You must identify and ask the questions before you are ready the learn the answer. (In between chapters given to us to ponder and soul search before answer are given)

B.     Various Interpretations

C.     What Dostoevsky said.

III.             How Notes and Conversations answer the questions raised in Grand Inquisitor.

A.    Why did your mom do that?

B.     What’s the deal with your face?

C.     My llama is faster than yours.

D.    Can’t you see I’m sleeping here?

Sabbath Eve

There are quiet a few things I'm supposed to be doing right now, and some of them will be moved to very early monday morning. That's okay, really, because sometimes it feels really good to let other people love you. Sometime laughing till your face hurts is worth the procrastination of work. Especially when it's the type of work that has no end. Laugh anyway. That's why God, in His mercy and love, gave His children a sabbath. It's a very special day, and I'm looking forward to it. I look forward to it all week long, but especially saturday night. It's the day that I get to sit back, think, make plans to do better, and best of all, feel loved. Oh Sunday...I can't wait!

this week

I don't really like using capital letters for my name. I do really want a hair cut.

Growing old, I show my character.
And for character I mean everything
I lived through and that shaped my
face, it's a face made of phases,
habits, friends I've met, my own
peculiar way of being, my ambitions,
the real loves and the loves I
dreamed about,the children I had.
              ~Pier Paolo Pasolini

True Reflections

This is an AMAZING link.

You don't need to wait for permission to fill your lives hearts with thanksgiving and happiness...

Sir Gregory Edwin Earwin

Sir Gregory Edwin Earwin

was a boy of only nine. 

But he was a somber fellow

who was careful with his time.

He never dilly dallied

He never shilly shamed

He always hop-ed to it,

With astute presence of mind. 

Our Greg did not dawdle when walking

on his way to school. 

He could not be persuaded

by a pogo-stick or pool.

He always followed schedules

He always kept the rules

He never came early or late

but right on time to school.

For Gregory Edwin Earwin

had determined his destiny

would be to rule all Asia,

by the age of thirty-three.

To him every man would bow,

At him all the world would cow,

He would govern the entire land

and dominate the sea.

to be continued.....

Dear Michelle,

It has come to our attention that all the mice in your mouse orphanage are dead. This blog is to notify you that the board of directors is reevaluating it's placement of funds. You will no longer be receiving contributions from our organization.  In future attempts we recommend following the cinderella model.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY30B9ZMq4U

             Holly M. MacGusgus
            


        

Literature

I started the Brothers Karmazov today. It took less than a page. Yes, less than a page. I know the bounds of what I have to learn are infinite. But do you ever come across a person and realize that they alone have a seemingly infinite amount of knowledge and wisdom to impart to you, and that this knowledge and wisdom, though infinite is specific. It's centered, and concentrated directly on what YOU need to learn in order to grow into who ever it is that you need to grow into? I feel sometimes feel this way about people in my life. But somehow or other Fyodor Dostoevsky is, for me, also one of those people. He has something to teach me, I have something to learn from him, and when I have learned it, it will then lead me to learn something else.

   "As a general rule, people, even the wicked, are much more naive and simple-hearted than we suppose. And we ourselves are, too." Brothers Karmazov, Book One, Chapter I.

Why did he give the father, a despicibale character his own name?

He compared a marraige to a suicide.

Anyone want to read this along with me?

Walking Out

A few weeks ago I quit my job. I've worked all summer in the Benson building as a custodian. I never really talk to anyone about work. Who wants to hear about a custodian's job? But I really enjoyed it. So here is the tribute to my last job:

The Full-Time Custodian
The Stuff You Never Knew You'd Like to Know

Walking to work alone at 4:00 AM
The Sky: It's wonderful. Have you seen the stars that early? It's not your usual night time view. If you've been up late the night before, you can see the change that's taken place in only a few hours. No one is out on the streets. In the early morning peace you can stop, even in the middle of the road, and wonder and God's creations.
Paranoia: I played night games a bit this summer. I've stood on campus, knowing full well that there are more than twenty people within 50 feet of me, and not single one of them is visible to me. And here I am, walking up a hill called "Rape" that's marked with signs warning "Do not walk in this area at night." The adrenaline rush is a great way to wake yourself up.

PPE
Ahhh Personal Protection Equipment, better known as gloves and goggles. The gloves I understand. After all I'm a custodian. I touch dirty things. Yep, it's just what I do.
Now the goggles are a different story. Do you realize that wicked, passive-agressive OSHA makes me wear goggles when using ANY chemical. Oh yes friends, that means I wear goggles when I wash the windows with windex. I can't even try to save face by using safety classes. It has to be the big green goggles that stick out 3 inches from my face, tie on with an elastic cord, and leave a deep, and very red line on the unhappy skin around my eyes. Also, my eyes were harmed far more by having goggles than windex could ever do. They slip in your gloves as you put them on and ..SNAP.. right in the face.
What makes the goggles worth it is the funny associations my brain has made with them. For some reason Whenever I have on my goggles I tend to forget that I am not underwater. I get this sensation that I cannot be seen, which is relieving because I'm wearing giant green goggles. I also forget that I can still talk. When you're under water that doesn't work so well. ...neither does breathing in through your nose or out through your mouth...just saying.

Solitude
First thing in the morning I meet up with a largish, squarish, redish machine. I'm pretty sure it has a name like Tornado, or Tsunami or something stormy...ish. I know for certain that it has an acronymn that I could never remember. So for narration purposes we'll call it Vinny. Anyhow I'd fill the Vinny up with water, grab my PPE then head for the elevator that would take me to the 4th floor.

The Benson is the chemistry building, which means that all the upper floors are labs. In wee hours of the morning those labs are still clinking, dinging, rumbling, and smoking away. Some labs have signs forbidding the use of lights. Other signs inform you that there are highpowered magnets in the room. One of my personal favorites is the sign that warns that if you open the door you may have your eyes burnt out by lasers.
I would drag Vinny through the dark of these labs, cleaning the chairs while trying not to mess with the chemist's messes. It was fun.

Sunrise
By far the best part of the day was sunrise. From the 4th floor, in the corner office you have a view that stretched from the temple, across the mountains, over the valley and to the other side. The sunrise is spectacular.

 

 

Random
A few other random things I'll miss: the numatic (vacumn with a happy face),

the machine rooms in the basement, especially the wind room,

and the chasm (you don't even know I'm down there).

Joy

Things that make me happy:

Christ. Prayer. The Temple. My Family. Music. Colors. Water.

Stars. Trees. Snow. Christmas. 2 Year-olds. Fireworks. Gardens.

Milkshakes. Missionaries. Taking Pictures. Talking With Friends.

Staying Up Late. Waking Up Early. Going Back to Bed.

The Children's Section in the Library. Laughing. Exploring. Waffles.

Piano Playing. Singing in the Shower. Guitar Playing. Singing With Friends.

Rivers. Swimming. Hiking. Biking. Sailing. Climbing. Hiding. Jumping.

Sunset, Sunrise, and Everything in Between. Life. Raspberries.

Scriptures. Storms. Wind. Snowcones. Otterpops. Rooftops.

Frost. Flowers. Grass. Greenhouses. The Park. The Mountains.

.....thinking about happy things.

Bearded

Dearest Devin,
The other day I sat in math, trying to understand a logic path.
My thoughts would not stay, I could not follow that logic 's way.
For my grades I greatly feared, driven to distraction by the professors beard.
... I do not learn, but compare, the similarities between your facial hair.
Yours is red and his is white, I wonder how you'd do in a bear pulling fight.
I suppose someday you'll be teaching too, a class of girls who don't listen to you.
But do be patient Professor McCleve, don't get angry and please don't leave.
It's just that their distracted by your face, and besides you talk at a very fast pace.
They do care for what you say, but there is all this hair that gets in the way.
Please be forgiving and do not fuss, give them a week and they'll adjust.

Holly Marie

Exposure

So, after realizing that this doesn't have to be as public as I thought blogs were I think I may use this as yet another sort of journal, one that a few people will actually read. It's a chance to share honest thoughts. I've been struggling with sincerity. Being sincere is being naked. Here, see what I'm really thinking and feeling. I always want to be sincere. I always want to behave just how I feel and say just what I think. People are more comfortable when I do, and I am happier when I do. But that honesty leaves me open and unprotected. If you see me as I am, and then hurt me, I struggle. The next thing I know I'm wearing spiked armor and you have no idea where that girl you used to know went to. So for everyone, because life itself has been hurting so much lately, because I walk around with my armor all the time because the problems don't go away, because I love you all more than I'm able to admit, and because I hurt all of you sometimes, for everyone: I'm sorry. I am trying. I will try harder.

So this is a blog? Yes well, I'm certain that I don't understand it. But now you have the chance to read me being awkward as well as see it live. For those of you who don't get to see it live anymore, but for some odd reason miss it...yes Michelle, I'm referring to you, I hope you get a good laugh or two.