Meant to Be's

I don't believe in it. Truthfully. I don't know that I ever have. nah. Can't happen. But I'm known for being faithless. Sure, not to any of the suckers around here. But God knows my soul. And it's not worth pesos. 

I see others composing themselves, stabilizing with that phrase, "If it's meant to be..." Meant to be? Who means it?

If all that is, is meant to be? Well fine. I'm meant to be lost. Believe it. 

But that's okay. I like to wander in the woods. And my Brothers know the ways that I take. Even when I don't. 

But you and your meant to be's? No. You can suck it.   

  I'm road tripping.

"Faith is a Gift"

You know, it's interesting the way God guides you, or teaches you, or comforts you, or reminds you, or makes you. 

For instance last night a sad thought and the rain weren't enough to turn me around. After all I'm stubborn. You know what turned me? The thought, "Why are you doing this? Wouldn't you rather be where there are people who love you?"  And back I went, to nestle my head on the shoulder of a friend, and spend my night on a couch.

Which brings me to another point of significance:
 Couches are the best place to sleep.

Be it cold leather, scratchy plaid, smooth grandma floral, or good ol' hide-a-bed, I want to be on the couch.
The Couch means there is family come home to visit.
The Couch means I'm come to visit my family.
The Couch means I'm crashing at a friends.
The Couch will one day mean we had a fight, but in spite of differences where you are is my home, so if you're sleeping on the couch, can I come too?

The Couch means Love. 

But on we must go. I woke to the birds chirping, soft light through curtains, the snug couch at my back, the smell of house plants, and the feel of an old town house. Took me 10 minutes to realize it felt like a little paradise I knew from an exchange down south. ...Islanders and Orange Blossoms.

But all that, and summoning my courage to go alone places full of uncertainty, led me to the right person. A person just suited to teach me. I heard of her a month ago, as an example to help, and then unexpectedly she is the person I'm sent to for answers. We have the same friends, we have the opposite backgrounds with the shared experiences. Questions. Answers. Tangents. Laughter. Understanding.

Best of all the message:

Our God is a Merciful God. 

Well that He is.

He is our God. 

And He is full of Love and Mercy.

  

So yeah, faith is a gift.

Let Joy Be the Theme of Your Song

Here it comes again, just at the right time every year. 

God gave reason to have a holiday. It's kept every year, to thank Him for life, and I used to say to show him that I will use it well. But perhaps it's better to say to remind me to use it well.

Give love. As sister, daughter, lover, stranger, friend. And of course auntie. Give love. 

Dance through life as a melody, and let joy be the theme of your song. 

Snowfall is Magic and Wonder

Another Thought On Compassion

"Oh, you who are! Ecclesiastes calls you the All-powerful; the Maccabees call you the Creator; the Epistle to the Ephesians calls you Liberty; Baruch call you Immensity; the Psalms call you Wisdom and Truth; John calls you calls you Light; the Books of Kings call you Lord; Exodus calls you Providence; Leviticus, Sanctity; Esdras, Justice; the creation calls you God; man calls you Father; but Solomon calls you Compassion, and that is the most beautiful of all your names."

Victor Hugo's Les Misérables

...just something to add to pool of thought.

Truthfully

I'm doing much more better. 

I was given opportunity this evening to think about light. ...and Light. 

"The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light."

Lets review my list of life goals: be like a light bulb, be like a firefly, be like my sister, move to California, be like a sunflower, be like Venus. 

I still want to be a light. I know I'm no good at generating my own light, lets face it. I just don't have fusion down kids. I lack the mass! But, Gargamel, I sure want to soak it all up. Did you know our sun is secretly rather green? Well it peaks there. Nice isn't it? But as much as I love green and all the green living things of the world I'm off the topic again. (of a truth it was of a purpose)

In brief and sincerity I am not nearly so worried any longer about my doubts. those will work themselves out over time. I do not know how to resolve them all, but I know the Lord does and I will place these in His most precious hands for now. Instead I'll be spending my time on Light. I can do nothing better. I know I can't generate it, but I hope, in a small way to reflect it. 

And lastly, no matter who you are friend, please know there is a Savior who loves you and wants to light your way.  

Blessings

God always knows what's going down. That's an in-eloquent way of putting it, but its the plain truth. 

Loving Kindness And Compassion

I threw away the most important essay of my life.

R e s p o n s e   t o   t h e   D o s t o e v s k y   L e c t u r e   J a n u a r y   3 0 ,   2 0 0 9 

The definition Dr. Kelly gave for compassion:
to suffer  someone else's burden with them until the burden is lifted.

  How  is  this  done?  Does  it  help?  Can  it  be  done  effectively? 

Especially   pertaining  to  the  burden  of  guilt.  It  is  not  a  physical  burden,  though  it  can  affect  us physically.  It  cannot  be  physically  lifted.  It  is  an  emotional,   mental,  and   spiritual   burden.  If  I take on  someone  else's  emotional/mental  burden,  will  it  actually  lighten  their  load?  Or  will  there  now  be  two  people  and  thus  twice  the  burden? Are  emotional  and  mental  burdens  tangible, do  they  have some  unrecognized  substance?  I  don't  know.

But  what  of  the  spiritual  aspect?  I  hate  to  separate  it  out,  because  it  is  so  intertwined  with  the  emotional,  mental  and  even   physical   (again   the   spiritual   burden   can   affect   us   physically).   But   I   think   there   is   something   special   about   a   spiritual   burden.   Because   Christ,   in   His   compassion,   took   on   our   spiritual   burdens. 

 Is   His   compassion   more   powerful   than   mine?        
  - undoubtedly 

 Can   my   compassion   provide   a   small   version   of   the   relief   that   His   brings?  
  -   I   don't   know. 

 Can   my   compassion   for   a   soul   make   a   difference?   Perhaps   my   compassion   is   similar   to   my   light   or   my   love.  The   reason   there   is   power   in   my   love   is   because   that   love   is   given   me   of   Christ.   I   can   shine   light   into   someones   life,   because   Christ   is   the   source   of   that   light,   all   light.   

 So   if   my   compassion   stems   from   Christ's   compassion,   it   is   a   small   particle   of   His   compassion.   Even   just   a   tiny   particle   of   that   pure,   true   compassion,  there   could   be,   would   be,   great   power    in   that   particle.   If   its   source  is  Christ   then,  small   as   it  is,   the   potential   to   work   good,   bring   comfort,   relief   and   peace   is   there!  Not  only   there,   but   strong!   Vast!   Deep. 

 If   I   pull   from   that   source . . . what   could   be   done!   So   much,   if   this   is  true.   Pull   compassion  from   a   connection   to   Christ.   We  must   be  connect   to   Him!  This   is   the   light   of   Christ!   Summon   compassion,    patience,   love,   virtue,   charity!   How   do   I   tap   in?   Prayer.   Something   in   my   soul.  The  Holy   Ghost  must   aid. 

 Maybe ,  most   likely   I   cannot   remove   or   lift   a   burden ,   another's   or   my   own .   I   suspect   only   Christ   can   do   that .   But   I   am   beginning   to   believe   that   I   can,   somehow,   lighten   someone   else's   suffering,   ease   their   burden .   Bring   hope . 

"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives. 

Do good anyway. 

If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. 

Succeed anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable.

 Be honest and transparent anyway. 

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. 

Build anyway. 

People who really want help may attack you if you help them. 

Help them anyway. 

Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. 

Give the world your best anyway."

Mother Theresa